Circa February 1990

Here's just a sampling from my 15 year old self. I was apparently a tad bit angry with my folks. I wish I'd journaled when I was younger to remember more of what was going on at this time...

On the upside - we have a totally normal and healthy relationship now. :)

Where are they when I need them?

I know they're nowhere near

I call and call their names

But no one seems to hear

My desperate pleas and cries

They all just plain ignore

To them I am a nothing

Yet always wanting more

I didn't mean to do it

Whatever they say I did

But after all, what's one wrong

When I'm still just but a kid?

~February 6, 1990

They never say "I'm proud of you"

Or "my you did so good"

I know they must be thinking it

But say it I wish they would

I try so hard to be the best

But I know they'll never see

Anything I've ever done

Because it's done by me

All I wished for

Was a great big hug

And maybe a kind word or two

But as far as they're concerned,

My grave's already dug...

~February 7, 1990

Perfection

I have found my binder from highschool with all my teenage angst poems. There are a lot of sad and angry poems -- go figure, I was a teenager!

However, this one is rather pleasant - and still one of my favorite things I've written.

Images captured

Souls released

Burning desires

Tear my heart.

Shadows join

Stars shine bright

Magic dust

Dreams unite.

Black as ink

One gold horn

Perfection at last

A unicorn.

May 16, 1991