Seriously?

 It's barely 8am and all I want to do is just crawl back into my heated mattress pad warmed bed and pull the weighted blanket over my bedraggled head and my mascara smeared eyes... 

First off, what is it with me and electronics?  I only half joke that my magnetic personality is wreaking havoc in the world.  I know how to work the television.  I don't watch a LOT of television, but I know how to work the effing remote!  Alas, I turn on the tv to attempt to watch the weather.  Why did I do that? Who knows.  It's cold.  It might snow.  There might be wind.  Whatever, I truly knew that already - so why was I even trying to turn on the tv?  And why was the tv only working at I want to wake the dead level of volumes?  Literally.  The tv now has mute and I'M SCREAMING volume levels.  Mind you the screaming was when the remote showed it was on a volume level of ONE! Yes, one.  1. 

Fast forward to a teen on the phone when he shouldn't be (note to self adjust his downtime limits by another 15m), one grumpy pre-teen who has a paint splatter on her leggings and can't decide which shoes to wear to school when Jango comes out of the litter box with a piece of poop stuck to his butt fluff.  It's just a pebble Mom say the kids.  Ha ha ha.  So, I grab a Kleenex and try to catch the cat.  The cat is now running and leaping because the dog thinks, yay - my play toy is moving, I must chase it.  I sort of catch Jango and attempt to grab said pebble with the tissue.  Oh no, all I manage to do is smush it into his fluff and piss off the cat who's trying to get out of the way of the dog.  I pause briefly to yell at the kids to go brush their teeth.  One kid listens and heads upstairs, the other attempts to help control the dog so I can chase the cat.  I reach for the kitchen scissors thinking - screw it, sorry kitty - I'm just going to give you a wee little trim.  Dog is barking, cat is hissing, more cats come to see what the fuss is all about... I manage to snip the fluff BUTT (ha, see what I did there...) the smooshy, trimmed, poopy tush fluff is now hanging and not falling.  For Pete's Sake...I toss the scissors down and reach for another tissue.  The dog is now jumping, the kid upstairs is shouting for the other one to come brush teeth before the bus leaves them both, I'm chasing Jango with the scissors in hand AGAIN.  I've now trimmed even more fluff and I think I've gotten the majority of it... kid 2 runs upstairs and then back down about 45 seconds later.  Kid one now thinks they are the parent and wants to know why kid 2 only brushed for 30 seconds.  Dude.  If your teeth and breath stink then so be it... just grab your Chromebook (you know, the one you forgot to charge last night), some shoes - why are you putting on your OLD shoes?? Whatever, I give up... okay - shoo, go, up the street - go go go.  Why is Atticus halfway up the street without a jacket?  It's 20 maybe outside?  Insert eye roll... Oh, and I was also trying to order school lunches in the middle of all of this too because oh yeah, it's now a new month and I'm guessing the kids want to eat something at school because I sure as heck didn't get anything packed!!!  I need to wake up earlier - but that just sounds like a terrible idea.  

So now, it's 8:30.  I'm half caffeinated.  Queso is napping on the sofa.  Jango and his trimmed butt fluff is hiding, probably trying to make himself presentable.  The television is off.  My calendar just dinged.  I'm supposed to be at physical therapy in 30 minutes.  I'd better go throw on some workout clothes and brush my teeth!  Oh, and hope that work doesn't notice that I'm not logged into our big kickoff activities because I'm trying to revive a blog.  

And I should probably feed the fish.  I doubt anyone thought to feed them yesterday...